Well, I want to go to Paris first. I don’t know anyone there. No one will interfere with me. I have been to Paris several times when I was on leave in the army. Although I don’t know anything yet, I always feel that my mind will become clearer when I get there. It’s funny to say that it seems that I can think from the ground and maybe find the future direction.
What if you can’t find it?
He ha ha laugh.
Then I will regain the American spirit and admit that things won’t work. I will do whatever I want when I return to Chicago.
This conversation had a great impact on Isabel, and she became more and more excited as she talked. After she finished, she looked at me piteously.
Do you think I did the right thing?
That’s the only thing you can do, but more importantly, you are really gentle, generous and understanding to him.
I love him very much, and I hope he will be happy, and even if he really flies away, to some extent, it is actually fortunate that I hope he will stay away from being pointed at, which is not good for him or good for me. I can’t blame others for saying that he won’t rest. I hate this criticism, but I am afraid of being right, but please don’t say that I am considerate. I have no idea what he wants.
Maybe you know in your heart that Zhifa understands me and smiles. Why don’t you marry him at once and go to Paris with him?
A faint smile appeared in her eyes.
I really want to do this, but I don’t want to admit it, but I really think he will be better without me. Dr. Nelson is right. He is affected by pre-trauma, so finding something interesting in a different environment should help him. When he finds peace of mind, he will return to Chicago and enter the industry like everyone else. Besides, I don’t want to marry a loafer all day.
Because of the growing environment, Isabel has accepted the values instilled by adults since she was a child. She won’t think about money because life has always been short of food and clothing, but she can still intuitively recognize that money is very important. Money symbolizes the status of the society. It is only natural that men should work hard to make money.
It’s not surprising that you said that you don’t know Larry. I said that because I’m sure he doesn’t know himself, he doesn’t talk about his goal. It may be that he doesn’t know much about his goal, but I don’t know much about him. This is my guess that he can’t be looking for anything, but he doesn’t know what he wants, and he can’t find anything. Maybe he suffered during the war and made other methods calm. Do you think he may be pursuing some illusory idea, like an astronomer looking for a star, and its only evidence is the number calculation knot?
I feel as if he is upset about something.
Maybe it’s his heart. Maybe he’s a little afraid to face himself. Although he vaguely sees his future ambition, he dare not believe it.
Sometimes I think he is so strange, as if he suddenly woke up in a strange place in the middle of sleepwalking and didn’t know where he was before the war. One of his great advantages is that he is enthusiastic about life. He is more considerate and humorous than everyone. What happened to him makes him look like a different person.
I also learned that small things will have a great impact on the situation and mood at that time. I remember that the last time I attended Halloween, the French called the Day of Death and went to a village church to attend mass. When the Germans invaded France for the first time, they harassed the village church. The female cemetery in black was filled with rows of small wooden crosses. When the mass was going on, the atmosphere was sad and solemn, and everyone, regardless of sex, was crying frequently. I thought that maybe dying in the ground was luckier than living. I told a friend what I felt. I can explain what I mean, but I can see that he regards me as a complete fool. I still remember that after a certain battle, many French corpses were stacked one after another, just like the puppet troupe went bankrupt, and the remaining marionettes were no longer profitable and were randomly left in dusty corners. At that time, I had the same idea as Larry told you.
I don’t want to read it as if I were engaged in a mystery, deliberately not telling what happened during the war and then revealing the mystery at an appropriate time. In fact, he shouldn’t have told anyone, but many years later, he told our mutual friend Susan Rouvier to give her life to save his army brother. This is Susan who told me that I could translate her French. Another boy in Larry Squadron created a deep affection. Susan knew his nickname because Larry always called him that. Now it seems that this nickname is ironic.
He is not tall and red-haired Irish. We call him Percy 15. Larry told Susan that I have never seen such an energetic guy. He has a strange face and a strange smile. It is usually difficult to see him want to laugh or not, and he is always called by the chief to scold him. He is fearless, even when he almost lost his life in the war, he can laugh from ear to ear. But he seems to be a big joke. When a pilot is talented in the sky, he is calm and alert. I learned a lot from him. How old is he? He takes care of me, but it’s actually a little funny. Because I am six inches taller than him, I can definitely knock him down once in a fight. In Paris, he was so drunk that I really knocked him out for fear that he would get into trouble.
When I first joined the squadron, I felt that I was out of place, and I was afraid of being different from others, but he always said something nice to make me believe again. He looked at the war easily and didn’t hate German ghosts, but he felt extremely happy if he could fight. In his eyes, hitting a German plane was just a bad drama, but he was always on the rampage, unrestrained and careless, but he was completely true, and it was difficult for his friends to miss him. Even if he was generous with money, he would not be polite to you when he borrowed money. I would be lonely or afraid that his Zhang Chou face would be full of laughter and say something obedient.
Larry smoked his pipe and Susan waited for him to go on.
We used to play a little trick so that we could have a holiday together. When we were in Paris, he had a crazy time. In early March 1991, we came early to arrange a holiday and prepare for a big play. The day before the holiday, we were sent to the enemy for reconnaissance and then reported the enemy’s situation. Suddenly, when we were attacked by German fighters, we were still in the middle of the enemy’s war. I was followed by one of the enemy planes, but I was ahead of them. I was going to make sure whether the other side was out of the corner of my eye when it crashed, and I aimed at another enemy plane closely followed. I quickly descended I tried to hide, but it came after me in an instant. I thought it was over, but just then I saw Percy holding down the enemy plane like a flash and shooting at it hard. The enemy plane suddenly turned and left, and we also flew back. My body was badly damaged, and Percy almost returned to the base one step ahead of me. When I came from the plane, other brothers just lifted Percy. He was lying on the ground waiting for the ambulance. Percy smiled at me as soon as he saw me.
I taught you a lesson, asshole, he said.
What’s the matter with you, Percy? I asked
Oh, nothing. I got hit by a bullet
His face turned pale and his expression suddenly became ferocious. He didn’t even think about death before he realized that he was dying. He instantly sat up and smiled.
Alas, I’m exhausted, he said
He has lost his breath. He is only 22 years old. He has planned to marry an Irish girl after the war.
I left for San Francisco the day after Isabel talked, where I was going to take a boat to the Far East.
chapter two
one
At the end of June the following year, Eliot came to London and we met again. I asked him if Larry had gone to Paris, and he said that he had gone, and I couldn’t help laughing.
I feel sorry for the boy. He wants to stay in Paris for two years, but I’m also going to give him a hand. I told him to let me know as soon as he arrived in Paris, but I didn’t know that he had arrived early until Louisa wrote that he was in Paris. I forwarded a letter to him through American Express, or Louisa gave me his address. He came to my house for dinner to meet some people he should know. I want to introduce some French Americans first. Do you know what he returned? He said he was sorry that he couldn’t keep the appointment because he didn’t bring half a gift to Paris. Eliot went straight.
He wrote a reply on a tattered piece of stationery with the name of a coffee shop in the Latin quarter printed on it. I wrote back to ask him where he lived. I think he must be taken care of for Isabel’s sake. Maybe he is embarrassed. I mean, I really can’t believe that he came to Paris with a bright head and didn’t bring a late gift. Besides, it’s ok to order it from several tailors in Paris. I also invited him to lunch. I also stressed that there were not many guests this time. Guess what? He just didn’t tell me the exact address. He also said that he never ate lunch, so I couldn’t
I wonder what he is up to.
Who knows, and to be honest, it’s none of my business. I’m afraid this young man is not very attractive. Isabel really shouldn’t marry him, and after all, he lives a regular life. I’ve already met him at the Ritz or the Foucault Hotel.
I occasionally go to these high-end markets, but I don’t go anywhere else. In the early autumn of that year, I happened to stay in Paris for a few days and then I had to go to the southern port of Marseille to prepare for a cruise to Singapore. One evening, three or five friends of mine had dinner in panas and went to the Dome Cafe for a beer. After a while, I looked around and saw Larry sitting in front of a big stone table in a crowded place. I thought it was sultry during the day, and everyone was running to enjoy the cool. When Larry saw me, his eyes lit up and Lu Junmei smiled and asked me to sit down and talk.
I came to say hello, and I said
Do you live in Paris? he asked.
Just for a few days.